That's Entertainment!



Funny Pharaoh

"In the Old Bazaar in Cairo"

(Chester, Morris, Ford) as heard in the radio tribute:

Sand bags, wind bags, camels with a hump,
Fat girls, thin girls, some a little plump,
Slave girls sold here,
fifty bob a lump,
In the old bazaar in Cairo.
Brandy, shandy, beer without a froth,
Braces, laces, a candle for the moth.
Bet you'd look a smasher in an old loin cloth,
In the old bazaar in Cairo.
You can buy most anything,
Thin bulls, fat cows, a little bit of string,
You can purchase anything you wish,
A clock, a dish and something for your Auntie Nellie,
Harem, scarem, what d'ya think of that,
Bare knees, striptease, dancing on the mat,
Umpa! Umpa! That's enough of that,
In the old bazaar in Cairo.
Rice pud, very good, what's it all about
,Made it in a kettle and they couldn't get it out,
Everybody took a turn to suck it through the spout,
In the old bazaar in Cairo.
Mamadan, Ramadan, everything in style,
Genuine, beduine carpet with a pile,
Funny little odds and ends floating down the Nile,
From the old bazaar in Cairo.
You can buy most anything,
Sheeps eyes, sand pies, a watch without a spring,
You can buy a pomegranate too,
A water-bag, a little bit of hokey pokey Yashmaks,
pontefracts, what a strange affair,
Dark girls, fair girls, some with ginger hair,
The rest of it is funny but they censor it out there,
In the old bazaar in Cairo.

Steve Martin's 'King Tut' as referred to in the radio tribute:

Now when he was a young man he never thought he'd see (King Tut)
People stand in line to see the boy king (King Tut)
How'd you get so funky (funky Tut)
Then you'd do the monkey
(Born in Arizona moved to Babylonia King Tut)
Now if I'd known the line would form to see him (King Tut)
I'd take up all my money and buy me a museum (King Tut)
Buried with a donkey (funky Tut)
He's my favorite honky
(Born in Arizona moved to Babylonia King Tut)
Dancing by the Nile
Ladies loved the style (waltzing Tut)
Rocking for a mile (walking Tut)
He ate a crockodile
He gave his life for tourism
Golden idol
He's an Egyptian!
They're selling you
Now when I die now don't think I'm a nut
Don't want no fancy funeral just one like old King Tut (King Tut)
He coulda won a grammy (King Tut)
Buried in his jammies
(Born in Arizona moved to Babylonia
Born in Arizona got a condo made of stone-a King Tut)

Richard Murdoch's "Ballet Egyptien" parody - extract as heard on the Radio tribute

My aunt's name is Ella Wheeler Waterbutt,*
And she lives down in Burton-on-Trent.
When she goes out shopping on her bicycle
She always gets her handlebars bent.
Steak and kidney, seven and a tanner's worth,
A little bit of chicken and a marlin-spike.
Hutch and Ted Ray at the Metropolitan
Are doing even better than at Heckmondwyke.
Sabotage at Poole in Dorset,
Camouflage my uncle's corset ...
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,
Saturday, Sunday, Monday ...
Plastic pyjamas,
Are never quite what they ought to be.
Gentlemen farmers,
Are never quite what they're taught to be.
Seventeen fiddles in a second-hand suitcase
Semolina pudding in a very old flute-case
Cabinet Ministers shout
"What a very silly song" - I'm out!
* or 'Waterbottle'. A reference to the authoress of “Poems of Passion”, Ella Wheeler Wilcox, of co

Dancing on Ice

Dancing on Ice

Dancing on Ice alt

Dancing on Uce 2nd alt

Madonna as Betty


Ursula Andress as Madonna lookalike

Ursula Andress

Catherine Zeta Jones as Ursula Andress lookalike as Madonna lookalike - getting complicated!

Catherine Zeta Jones

Never say die - click on the image below to see how Richard Littlejohn has revitalised (in extremely bad taste) the hit song from the Producers!

An Irreverent Spoof of the Irreverent 'Producers' -

Notes images

whatever next! Click on Littlejohn

Littlejohn fo the Daily Mail



We love being entertained ....

This section is reserved for our interest in the various forms of Entertainment other than Films and Television (which appear elsewhere on this site) and this introductory page will feature cameos of our favourites starting with an old Music Hall Act based on a tongue-in-cheek interpretation of Egyptian Hieroglyphics by :

Wilson Keppel and Betty

Portrait of Wilson Kepple and Betty Link to WKB page

The Portrait of the entertainers featured above shows them at the height of their popularity and out of their accustomed 'disguises'.

The Daily Mail runs a section which encourages Questions and Answers on any subject - in this case the question is "What happened to Wilson, Keppel and Betty, a music hall act who dressed as Egyptians and performed a comic dance routine?" - Sally Short of Twickenham responded to this question and a copy of the article can be found here. Further proof of their long-lasting popularity in this comprehensive response dated December 22nd 2010.

WKB the Originals

Wilson, Keppel and Betty as we are more accustomed to seeing them!

2011 - BBC Radio 4 - Wilson, Keppel & Several Bettys

On Thursday, 17th November 2011 - the BBC broadcast a radio tribute to Wilson Keppel and Betty, narrated by Barbara Windsor. The full transcript can be found here

The BBC website promoted the programme as shown below:

BBC ProgrammeBarbara Windsor tells the story of the popular variety act Wilson, Keppel and Betty.

Wilson, Keppel and Betty formed one of the greatest eccentric dance acts of all time. Their names are so familiar and yet amazingly their fascinating story has never been told on radio before. As with many tales of the stars of music hall and variety, it is one which is shrouded in contradictions and myth.

The programme includes new research into their early days as a duo in Australia and America - and reveals how the act was catapulted to stardom when Wilson and Keppel met Betty.

Liverpudlian Jack Wilson and Irishman Joe Keppel were doleful, gangling, moustachioed and skinny-legged. They wore parodies of Eastern dress, usually a fez and a short nightshirt, revealing their scrawny legs. The third member was the glamorous Betty - who over the years was played by several different women. They performed a side-splitting sand dance based on poses familiar from Egyptian tomb art, with Betty as the central seductress. Their complete seriousness added to the hilarity.

From the early 1930's the trio became an established feature of British variety shows and were chosen for several Royal Variety Performances. Because the act was visual and hence instantly understandable to anyone, they received many offers from Europe. In 1938 it was reported that whilst performing at the Berlin Wintergarden they upset Goebbels who was disgusted at the display of bare legs, calling them 'bad for the morals of Nazi Youth'. Mussolini, however, is said to have loved the act.

Contributors include Bill Pertwee, Mark Colleano, Jean Kent, Georgy Jamieson and relatives of the trio. The programme is written by Alan Stafford and produced in Manchester by Stephen Garner.

'The Navy Lark'

The Crew of the Navy Lark

The cast and crew of the Navy Lark from Series 2 onwards - no sign of Dennis Price who ruled as 'no. 1' in the inaugural series - image courtesy of and sourced from The Navy Lark Guide with thanks
(Back row 1st and 2nd left Robbie Barker and Jon Pertwee, Centre Row first right Leslie Phillips and Front Row l to r Heather Chasen and Judy Cornwell)

The Navy Lark is a comedy radio series which ran on BBC radio from 1959 to 1977. It starred Leslie Phillips, Jon Pertwee, Judy Cornwell, Heather Chasen, Ronnie Barker, Dennis Price, Stephen Murray, Richard Caldicot, Michael Bates and Tenniel Evans.

(The Enchanting World of) 'Hinge & Bracket'

Hinge and Bracket

Dame Hilda Bracket & Dr Evadne Hinge - image courtesy of and sourced from britishclassiccomedy with thanks

The Enchanting World Of Hinge And Bracket, 1977 - We join the Dear Ladies: Hinge and Bracket as they go about their daily lives in the fictional village of Stackton Tressel, Suffolk.

Dr Evadne Hinge and Dame Hilda Bracket were two fictional characters created and played by two male actors, George Logan and Patrick Fyffe. After a 1974 appearance at the Edinburgh Festival and several years touring 'The Enchanting World Of Hinge And Bracket' was the duo’s first radio series.

The 'Meerkats'

'Peter Pan'

'Torvill & Dean'


Torvill and Dean Torchbearers in 2012

Olympian Torchbearers in 2012 - Day 41 - The Olympic Torch Continues Its Journey Around The UK
NOTTINGHAM, UNITED KINGDOM - JUNE 28: In this handout image provided by LOCOG, Torchbearer 100 Jayne Christensen (nee Torvill) and Torchbearer 107 Christopher Dean light the Cauldron at the end of Day 41 of the Torch Relay on June 28, 2012 in Nottingham, England. (Photo by LOCOG via Getty Images)

Torvill and Dean Olympian Reprise 2014

Great Britain's figure skaters, Jane Torvill (L) and Christopher Dean (R) skate on the ice at the Zetra Olympic hall in Sarajevo, on February 13, 2014. Torvill and Dean take part in celebration of the 30th anniversary of 14th Winter Olympic Games, hosted by Bosnia and Herzegovina's capital in 1984, when the famous British duo won the Olympic gold medal. AFP PHOTO / ELVIS BARUKCIC (Photo credit should read ELVIS BARUKCIC/AFP via Getty Images)

'The Producers'

The Producers 1967

An unusual poster for the original 1967 film - image sourced from posteritati with thanks

'Charley's Aunt'

'Mapp and Lucia'


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